Letters From Exchange: The One Where I’m Struggling (Again)

Oh, I know, I’m always struggling. Honestly, what else is new? I guess I just thought that I was doing better after my trip to Paris, and I am comparatively, but I was only really doing well for a couple of weeks. Now it’s been a month today that I’ve been back and the last two weeks I’ve honestly done almost nothing productive.

As someone who started writing motivational Monday posts, the first being about NOT sleeping all the time, this is highly hypocritical. It’s just been really hard lately to practice what I preach. Each day I hope that my sleep schedule will get a bit better, but if anything it gets a bit worse. Now I’m waking up between 12 and 2pm each day and I’m tired and don’t want to work out, so I don’t. I’m not eating as healthy as I should be. I’m a bit of a mess, if I’m honest.

I’ve been watching a lot of movies, getting caught up on the Marvel Cinematic Universe (a video will be going up tonight about the new Avengers film), and that’s been great fun, but it’s not productive in the slightest. I think the frustrating part is that it’s a battle throughout my mind and body; I’m motivated and want to be productive mentally, and my body is physically restless and wanting to work out, yet I’m often so tired and lazy both mentally and physically that neither happen.

I think I need to work on my focus. Not being able to focus has been a big problem for me for a long time. So I need to do that, and I need to start just getting up and moving. That will probably force the sleep schedule to sort itself out, which in turn will make me less tired during the day and more productive and focused. Okay, so, I do know what to do. If only it wasn’t easier said than done.

I’m really nearing the last stretch of exchange, and I’m so excited for summer, but if I don’t get a handle on this now I won’t be able to enjoy summer with the vitality I intend to.

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