I’m sure if you tried you could picture what is to you the perfect day: nothing standing in your way, nothing can go wrong (was that just Elle Woods?), but what if I told you your perfect day could come in the form of struggling and nervousness?
Here’s a better quote: “I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy – I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” Hard work is beyond worth it. It’s difficult as hell, but at the end of the day, when you’ve gotten over those hurdles and made it to the finish line, you know you’ve progressed as a person because you wanted it, you deserved it. That’s better than any feeling of ease.
This is a late Motivation Monday post because I had such a long day today that I felt like I was running a marathon (not that I’ve ever been in good enough shape to do that). It started by waking up before 8am after barely sleeping so that I could go to my first appointment with a school counselor to get help for my anxiety. After having that talk and feeling incredibly relieved about taking that step, I had some time to kill before class during which I had to rush to finish an assignment due later in the day. I got it done with all of 7 minutes to spare (technically I didn’t finish the reading portion but shhh), which I spent spontaneously signing on to write an article for the school paper, and then I headed to my next class. There I had a surprise reading quiz, which was my own real hiccup for the day because no, I hadn’t done that reading either, but after that it was alright. I went to my next class where I moderated the discussion based on that reading I had just finished (shhhhh), I enjoyed my next lecture, and I waited for my friend to drive me home. I even remembered four hours after the fact that I had left my mug in the library, and when I went back to look for it it was in the same exact spot.
It was a great day, but it wasn’t an easy one. My anxiety is triggered by sleep deprivation, of which I have too much right now, and the nerves from seeing a counselor and the adrenaline from finishing that assignment for my scheduled moderation were enough to wear me down by the end of the day to a sad piece of a human. I didn’t eat enough, every time I stopped to check my body was shaking, and it’s 10pm and I still have homework to do. None of that changes the fact that I had a great day, though.
I’m not trying to brag about what a good day I had, I swear. I just want you to know that if yesterday didn’t go so well, or if today you woke up feeling like it would be a struggle, that doesn’t mean it can’t be a good struggle. The things I did today weren’t easy, they were scary and sucked a lot at times, and it was all I could do not to throw up by the end of it all, but when I look at everything I did, I can’t help but feel like I made progress. I took steps towards being a better me.
It’s nerve-wracking to seek out help from a professional, but if your mental health is at stake, it’s worth it. It’s scary to sign on to do things you’ve never done, but if you never try new things, you’ll never learn new things. It’s stressful to try to get all of your assignments done on time and really invest in school, but what you get out of that hard work feels a million times more rewarding than what you get out of just skating by (trust me on that one).
It’s what you do with the setbacks and the hardships that make it a good day, a great day even.
Go out and have a great day. x.