I posted earlier about how I’m trying to find a balance between gaining new experiences and friends while on exchange and my natural desire to be alone. I think I was doing pretty well, until this week that is.
Unfortunately, as I am female, Aunt Flow comes to visit me once a month and usually it’s no big deal. Really. I may get a few backaches or feel a little more tired and bloated, but I’ve dealt with those symptoms long enough to know how to deal with them. This time around I didn’t have any of the usual pains, but rather a big fat emotional chip on my shoulder.
Now, before I proceed, let me be clear about a few things: I wasn’t sure I was going to make this post because a lot of the reasons I felt down were from my period, which leaves out certain readers from relating, and because I will one hundred percent want to punch someone in the face if they claim that a woman is acting emotional and therefore must be on her period. However much those reasons may have deterred me, I decided that this is a blog about my life, and that this is something that heavily affected me this week, and that it’s important to show that while periods may make women emotional, that is no reason to discredit their judgement. So with that in mind, let me continue..
I woke up Monday after having slept very little, not wanting to go to class but knowing that as soon as I started skipping classes it would be harder each time to go. And so I went, and I survived and made it to Tuesday, which I spent with a friend and was alright. Wednesday was the hardest.
Now, I’m not a particularly emotional person by any meaning of the term, but Wednesday was an exception. Whatever stress I already had mixed with my early morning class and the hormones running through my body, and let me tell you that I would not have made it through Wednesday without my best friend here. I was tired and anxious about everything yet seemingly nothing in particular, and any time I walked around alone I had to tell myself repeatedly to calm down or else I feared I would start crying. Thankfully my lovely friend kept me company during the break between my classes, helped feed me lunch, and at dinner time, when I was too exhausted and stressed to try making a meal out of the random assortment of food I had in my fridge, she had me come over and cooked me a proper pasta dinner.
I slept through Thursday. I was feeling better Friday and there were many festivals happening in the city this weekend, so I went out with friends, but I am still so stunned that my period had such an effect on me this week. I worked out maybe two times, I slept A LOT, I spent way too much money because I couldn’t be bothered to cook or really care, and I didn’t do any homework or even writing. In fact, I haven’t written for my book in probably two weeks. To be honest, I feel pretty bad about all of it, because I do have a lot to get done.
The thing is, the reason this post felt worthy of writing, is that these things happen. So I didn’t do my readings, and yeah, I probably should have started my papers this week. And don’t even try to make me count how many cookies I ate. But so what? We all have bad days, bad weeks. We all struggle, and it’s okay to stop fighting it for a bit. I woke up hating the world on Wednesday, but I went to my classes, and I made it through the day, and doing just that made me feel so accomplished.
Little victories matter. Feelings matter. So please, if you’re feeling down, know that it’s okay. Tomorrow is a new day. As they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your success be dependent on one day you may spend in bed because you just really don’t want to see the sun and the people enjoying it (even if you do live in a Nordic country where the sun is about to disappear for months).
I hope you all are doing well, and if not, I’m always up for listening. I promise this next week will be a more productive one. Talk to you soon!