This week’s been fairly productive, though admittedly I only really did anything on Saturday, so let me revise: yesterday was productive. Despite the amount of time I’ve spent sitting on my bum today, I do feel quite motivated for the days ahead and for higher productivity levels. I just really need to take advantage of my time more. Most successful, self-built people got there by working constantly, not for a couple of hours a day. I need focus and discipline to match my drive. Let’s be honest, that’s literally all my teachers told me in high school: “you have so much talent/intelligence, now if only you would apply yourself.”
I’m not sure why I can never seriously focus on anything; I don’t know if there’s anything wrong with me or if it’s just a discipline I never learned and will have to acquire in order to be successful. Guess I’ll find out eventually.
So, on this lazy Sunday I have woken up at 10:30 (woo for fixing my sleep schedule), danced for half an hour, had a very healthy breakfast around noon, worked through the fog and emptiness in my brain to plan my next youtube video, aaand that’s about it, besides waste time on social media and watching shows.
You must notice the lack of other meals (trust me, I would document them if I ate them, food is my passion). Sadly all I’ve had since breakfast is a couple of small snacks, and that’s not because I’m not hungry, it’s not because I’m too lazy too cook, and it’s not because I have an eating disorder. Nope, I planned on cooking chicken tonight, defrosted some and everything, only I forgot one thing: my roommate was having friends over tonight.
I know how childish this is but I am literally living off of what few snacks are in my room and starving for food because I just really don’t want to spend 30+ minutes in the kitchen with a group of strangers all speaking a foreign language. I don’t want to introduce myself and stand around awkwardly while they watch funny videos. It’s Sunday – I’m tired, I look like poop, and I really don’t want to see people, particularly not that many and not ones I don’t know. How ridiculous am I??
I apologize to whoever just read through my immature complaints. I do that, I complain quite a bit. And do silly things like not eat just because I don’t want to see people. It’s something I probably shouldn’t share with the world, but I wanted to, if only to say that if you’re going through something like this: you’re not alone, but you should probably suck it up and deal with it. I do think most of them left while writing this, so finally, at midnight, I might eat some more. Probably just some yogurt and berries, it’s too late for anything heavy. Tomorrow I will be up and tackle everything I need to do and then some despite this unproductive day of childishness, and I shall have a new fun blog post for you as well!
Hope you’re all doing well and are better fed than I. x