Food (24 Hours)

(tw: ed/eating disorders)

She hadn’t eaten in 24 hours.
Magazines told her to be thin.
Ads told her food made her fat.
Movies told her not eating would change that.
She hadn’t eaten in 24 hours.
She told herself to be thin.
To be thin was to be pretty and to be pretty was to be powerful.
So why did she feel so weak?
Suck it up.
All those pretty women, they must be in pain,
But they were powerful.
They were thin, and they were strong.
She hadn’t eaten in 24 hours.
It was the first time she’d ever done something like this,
First time she’d bitten the bullet,
First time she’d made that commitment to herself
Walk that line.
She was scared.
Suck it up.
She knew it was wrong, could feel it was wrong,
But maybe one day she couldn’t feel it anymore,
Wouldn’t feel the fogginess of her brain or the pain in her stomach…
She hadn’t eaten in 24 hours.
Suck it up.
The scale was the same.
One day couldn’t change the fat in her legs or the way that she ached.
Was she going insane?
She hadn’t eaten in 24 hours.
Suck it up.
It wasn’t that hard.
The hard part came next.
More fogginess.
More fear.
She knew this was a monster she was letting near.
What’s one day?
She could control it.
Suck it up.
It was her body.
Suck it up.
She could do with it as she pleased.
Suck it up.
But who could respect her if she couldn’t respect herself?
Power came from within but within her was dim.
To ward off this monster or welcome him in?
She hadn’t eaten in 24 hours.

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