Addict

6am, sleep in my eyes, I unlock my phone, hoping for a surprise
Technology may be my demise
I use it for everything –
when I read, when I write, when I learn, when I exercise
Rarely do I think to just put it away
And it’s only for a minute that I have self-restraint

I need to feel validated
I need to feel like people care what I have to say, even if it’s only a few
And it’s only ever a few
but the more notifications I get, the better I feel

I don’t know how to live my life without it,
and these days I don’t think I could,
No but really, the world’s become so connected,
and if giving that up would make me “live life,” honestly, I don’t think I would

I’m afraid of what this means for me, and wonder how my life would be
How much different would the world seem?
Without any of it –
Without my phone, or my laptop, or technology
As for finding out, well, I have no conviction
For this is my one, my only, my lifelong addiction.